i hope for riddance to all of my unhappiness, bad memories and awful experiences to be fed to a shredder - destroyed and disposed. i hope to shred memories of bad and hurtful things that others have done to me or difficult circumstances i've went through. i know i cannot get away or removed them ... instead i'm going to live with it from now on.
difficulties burdened my heart as i mulled them over and over in my mind. affected myself and my outlook in life.
the pain may stop but the gap never closes.
the achings still comes and goes.
when will it end?
when will i forget?
i don't know.
it started with a heartfelt moment.
apparently, it couldn't be kept going afterall we have been through.
you mean so much to me that i have to let you go.
there's no moving on so i'm leaving.
whenever life's burdens oppress me, and trials seems too much to face,
i tell myself: remember there's a strength in me, for i'll be given power and grace.
mo chridhe...
i'm not writing anymore.
probably will leave my thoughts and feelings somewhere somehow... i'm not sure.
i've thought over it for quite some time and made my decision/s.
it was nice knowing you; great being with you; utterly sad to leave you.
will you ever see me or hear from me again?
no... yes... maybe... maybe not...
this is a choice i've made.
so... this is it.
what i know for sure... i think
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
here are a few things i know for sure:
1. my personal particulars (but it won't be featured here).
2. i did my best but i guess my best isn't good enough for you; i give my all but i guess my all ain't what you are looking for.
3. how well, good and close to a person can't be determine by the no. of years of knowing each other - you still don't know me after so long; probably yourself to me too.
4. i can forget certain people and things but unfortunately, there are some i can't.
5. when i smile or laugh, doesn't exactly mean i am feeling good in my heart.
there are things i know for sure and things i don't know for sure. there are also things i wish i never knew.
but there is nothing i know for sure as i know for sure people change; things change.
i thought i knew for sure who i am but looks like i don't think so anymore.
i thought i will always be the same.
but i realized i'm not.
i've changed and will be changing in time to come.
i know for sure i would never be able to change any of the bad, tough, rough, low, difficult, unhappy, sad times i went through in my life.
because it was in those times that defines me which i grew the most and gained the most perspective.
it's the challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and makes us unique.
are they fun and enjoyable when they happen?
no, definitely not.
but they are what makes us individually special.
this is what i know for sure... i think.
hyperopia
Monday, December 21, 2009
i made a 2nd trip to my optician/s to verify or rather, to confirm the diagnosis of my eyesight.
i'm not used to the new lens instill for me.
as previously, it took about 30-45 minutes for 2 optometrists to check my eyesight.
both times, these are the conclusions:-
1st, degrees for my eyesight has both decreases over a hundred each.
2nd, astigmatism has increases 0.5 each.
3rd, i have hyperopia.
hyperopia, also known as farsightedness, longsightedness or hypermetropia, is a defect of vision caused by an imperfection in the eye (often when the eyeball is too short or when the lens cannot become round enough), causing difficulty focusing on near objects, and in extreme cases causing a sufferer to be unable to focus on objects at any distance.
at age of 9 i've started wearing specs.
from short-sightedness to long-sightedness, i definitely have questions and of course, queries how + why.
2 optometrists and 2 opticians gave me their explanations and diagnosis.
we did tests and tests and checks and checks because i want to confirm my eye condition.
well, in the end they all said the same thing. "Visual acuity is affected according to the amount of hyperopia, as well as the patient's age, visual demands, and accommodative ability."
long-sightedness?
at my age?
umm... oh well, anywayzzzzz...
i read more about my eye condition from these 2 links:
