people who cross/ed paths with me in my life
Saturday, May 30, 2009
i just settled down from work.
it's 3am plus, after a friday night of closing shift.
some thoughts and feelings from working tonight prompted me to write about it.
maybe i've been seeing too much of the day crowd of people at my work area that i suddenly feel congested and almost suffocated by the night group of people.
it's a relieved moment of solitudity when i finally sat down in my office table eating my dinner.
i was looking, seeing and observing the people through the night.
makes me think of certain things.
one of it was the people who crossed paths with me in my life.
there are people who make me:
1. happy
2. smile
3. love
4. touch
5. enlighten
6. inspired
7. grateful
8. thankful
9. appreciated
10. remembered
11. sincere
12. faithful
13. sad
14. cry
15. hurt
16. angry
17. upset
18. despair
19. frustrated
20. impatient
21. frown
22. devastated
23. regret
24. pain
25. humiliated
i'm a simple person with feelings.
i'm a human being afterall.
besides my family who makes me who i am today, the people around me or who once appeared in my life makes me who i am today too.
these people influence my thoughts, feelings, views, opinions, builds my character, personality, behaviour... etc.
i'm thankful to those who has helped me in times of need.
i'm grateful to those who was/were with me when i need help.
i'm in debt to those who has led me out of the maze when i'm lost.
i appreciate those who encourage, support and comfort me when i'm sad and hurt.
i seeked to those who willingly wait and gives me space when i feel emotionally overwhelmed.
they make me feel i am alive.
there are also a few who made me fall.
of course, i was very depressed, sad, hurt and pain.
sometimes, it affects me so badly that i cry.
off the record, the longest period i've ever cried is a month or so... especially at night or when i'm alone.
i'm still human.
these people may not know or realised what their decisions, words, thoughts, feelings and actions can do to me.
probably, they are concern about what they want for themselves that they have fail to consider my feelings and understand my thoughts.
i reckon people only choose what they want to listen, see, speak and think.
i always believe when i'm nice to people, they will be nice to me too.
but it's very rare that at certain situations, the part of being considerate is being brought to place before a result is going to happen.
well, i fall and fallen.... i have learn to pick myself up.
life is never smooth sailing.
there are ups and downs.
in the process there are regrets but if it's meant to be like this, i have to learn to accept and live with those regrets.
life is hard.
i don't know how these people are now.
maybe or maybe not they are having the best of their lives.
as for me, i'm still surviving in this world.
living my life as who i am, how i am, what i am.
whether anyone accepts me or not, i'm still living in this part of the world.
i can't be denial by other people and won't be ashamed of my presence.
i guess it just takes some effort, understanding and courage to acknowledge me.
