suicide... funeral... eventually
Thursday, June 18, 2009
suicide
unlike old age or cancer, no one anticipates a suicide.
they simply left without a chance to get things in order.
death
i want to die so i can be free of the saddness, unhappiness, depressed and painful feelings in me.
funeral
i thought about my own funeral.
more and more, in very general terms.
just the fact of dying.
i could picture life - family, friends and everything else - continuing on without me.
but i could not picture my funeral.
not at all.
mostly because i couldn't imagine who would attend or what they would say.
i had... i have... no idea what you think of me.
eventually
you can't stop the future.
you can't rewind the past.
