to my dearest friends,

i've choose this moment of my life to leave these words in this will to all of you.
i want to remember what's on my mind now before i forget.

the past few months have been another stage of experience in my life.
things even of little importance can play a part.
when something happens, it triggers something inside me that connects me to a situation or other people - twisted and turned but still connected.
things happened which unravelled about me, myself and i.

the passing of time is ticking.
we see it day by day, night by night goes by but often we don't feel it.
each second makes its mark on every single person's life.
enough time leaves us warm; when our time is gone, it too leaves us cold.
time is more precious than any valuable treasures.
it is time we do not have enough of, and so we must spend it wisely.
time cannot be given.
but it can be shared.

i'm glad my time has been spend with all of you.
it has been a pleasure knowing each of you.
i'm very glad our paths crossed and it has been very worthwhile.

do not be sad when i leave this world.
do not cry for me when i'm gone.
but instead, do celebrate that i am free of all the saddness, unhappiness, depression, hurt and pain.

one man's lesson is another man's tale but often, a man's tale can be another's lesson.
this is my lesson; my tale.
i would hereby like to show my appreciation to my beloved friends.
and will acknowledge all the following special people in my life.
this is solely to concentrate on those who are important to me.

i will return all the gifts that all of you have given me.
do not be angry.
it's not that i find them of no use or purpose that's why i'm returning to you.
i'm... different in such matters.

to me, returning the items to each of you is to hope you will remember how much i was once meant to you.
of course, i would want to own them but with a bigger heart, i hope you will find yourself immerse in thoughts and feel the feelings of recalling the moments when you are buying the gifts, writing the letters/cards, making the handicraft...
doing all those things with me in your mind and heart.

well, i'm no saint... it does backfired.
i did angered people with my "different approach" in this.
i'm sorry.
maybe at certain situations, it shouldn't be applicable.
but this was my intention afterall.
i hope with this explanation, it will clarify certain matters.
yes, this is for you (if you are reading it now).

so, my beloved friends ... this are my most sincere and utmost heartfelt words to you.
**
note: the below in order is not of any preference.
and to those which i didn't mentioned, it's not that you don't mean anything to me.
everyone i've met in my life defines me at different stages.
i'm thankful to each of you.
**

i love you joey.
(i hope you will find time in your busy schedule to remember my existence.)

i love you jess.
(you have given me the most spiritual support when i needed most.)

i love you ginn.
(silence is our best comfort because words can only do so much.)

i love you qiyu.
(your own style of theory never fails to lighten my heavy heart.)

i love you ning.
(you will always be my greatest gift.)

***
if i am buried in a grave, visit me.
if i am dust to dust; ashes to ashes, think of me.
i will be contented.
***

yours sincerely,
me